


Origin stories and deleted scenes from Ripping off the veil

by regnumveritatis



Series: Star Wars meets Shallow Hal [2]
Category: Shallow Hal (2001), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Allusions to Guerilla warfare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awesome Leia Organa, Cinnamon Roll Rey, Disfigurement, Drug Dealing, F/M, Family Don't End in Blood, Human Chewbacca, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Language of Flowers, Literary References & Allusions, Overprotective Han Solo, POV Han Solo, POV Luke Skywalker, Poor Obi-Wan, Prophetic Dreams, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Rey Kenobi, Veterans, the horrors of war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-10-31 04:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10891878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regnumveritatis/pseuds/regnumveritatis
Summary: In which I post the pasts of other well loved characters to see if I can find the inspiration to write the epilogue to Ripping Off The Veil. To understand this better please read the previously mentioned work first.





	1. Luke

As teenagers the Skywalker twins visited a traveling fortune teller named Lady Shaak Ti. Uncle Owen claimed that magic was a hoax created by hooligans to steal people's money but Bigg's daddy said it was a connection to the power of the old ones. In order to determine who was right they went to the strange lady. The tatooed woman made a crystal ball glow and supposedly glimpsed their fates. Leia would be strong of heart and fierce in mind. His sister would marry out of love a man harrowed by death, whose arrival in her life would be stained with his Good Shepard's blood and her family's tears. Needless to say, she was furious. Shaak Ti's prediction for Luke Skywalker was that he would be downtrod by the red horse's bloody games and come out marred in body yet splendid in soul. 

He hadn't believed it until years later when he reread the Bible whilst recovering from the blast that mutilated him and found that War rides on a red horse. 

In the whole of his childhood, he'd been an outcast and persona grata simultaneously. The dorky bookworm with his head in the clouds, fixing old aeroplane engines and hearing music in languages nobody knew. All the grownups praised him at ten for taking on more responsibilities with his father when Galen left for college but he didn't get why it was so commendable. He was just doing what any son would for a parent. Yeah, it was weird at first to give dad sponge baths, assist him in the really rough mornings because Mom couldn't miss work or help uncle Ben and uncle Owen with the large, steel gas cylinders necessary for oxygen therapy while his friends went to the movies or did other stuff but father needed him. Leia wanted to help and she did in almost everything. Mom said it wasn't proper for Leia or the cousins to help bathe Dad cause they were girls. Both twins agreed that it was sexist of the grownups to think so. His school friends complained about his responsibilities and he was fine with it. Besides, father was always better company than most of them put together. 

What the man lacked in mobility he more than compensated for in terms of intellect. His father taught him the laws of military strategy, aerodynamics, astronomy and advanced mathematics. It was a very interesting time for him, he learned anything a family member or grownup was willing to teach. Helping father gave him a higher level of respect for Galen, Mom, Uncle Owen and even dad for tolerating so much medicine without complaining. Anakin Skywalker certainly made a bigger deal of it than it was. Prattled on and on how unfair it was for him to be stuck looking after a useless cripple instead of enjoying himself. He'd joked once that it was community service cause without dad everybody would be forced to write their own taxes or scare the construction people by themselves and father pulled him in for a hug, saying "My sweet, intelligent boy. What did I do to deserve you?" Luke stayed quiet cause the only time he asked what dad meant, father had said he _**never, ever, ever**_ wanted him to understand his pain. 

Then one by one, his classmates stopped playing with him cause they didn't want to waste time on "the wormie murse". Except Biggs, he actually helped around the farm when Luke was called to duty and so did his girlfriend Kandji. He's really, really grateful that Biggs managed to find someone as nice as her. Men like him deserve happiness. Mister Darklighter gave them money a couple of times but mom and dad just squirrelled it away for their college funds or emergencies. Leia found out Deak was mocking her little brother and got detention for breaking his nose. Principal Tarkin was disappointed with her behavior, all the aunts were really proud but all Luke could think was Leia might have been extremely popular if she'd had a normal person for a twin brother. 

(God knows he embarrassed her plenty of times without meaning to.)

The " Redemption of Vader" as townspeople called it, earned him the respect of his classmates at fourteen. In Luke's eyes he found a friend and that was all that mattered. At fifteen he held three truths as unrelenting: 1)Biggs, Vader and Tank were the only young adults he knew that fit Petrarch's definition of friendship* (Leia, Galen and the cousins don't count, even Fay Kenobi is a cousin in every way possible to her. That's different, a good family cares about it's members and he's been blessed with a really great family). 2)The town librarian Mister Threepio was a kind-hearted, hypochondriac encyclopedia. 3) It was up to him to change the world because waiting for someone else to do it is foolhardy at best and unforgivingly selfish at worst. With any luck he'd find true love along the way, probably from someone foreign cause the opposite sex of Naboo was largely uninterested, prone to babying, flirting out of hero worship or friend zoned.

Then all of a sudden he hit puberty and girls  _liked him_ for some reason. To the point where Fixer threatened him to stay away from his girlfriend. It didn't make any sense. A few years ago girls like Camie or Lumiya were still doing everything in their power to make his life miserable and now they were fawning over him? Grandma said it was cause he was attractive but that didn't help much. Growing up the way he had left little room for vanity. 

Not that Luke cared, he preferred literature and planes to women. Same thing applied to Leia with debate club and Galen with sports & agriculture. As a result, the Skywalker siblings were the subject of many philosophical debates regarding young people's behavior. Uncle Owen and Grandpa Cliegg proudly called the newest generation's choice for total celibacy through middle school ( College in Leia's case and High School in Galen's, he only scratches himself off the list because kissing counts in his book) good breeding, Uncle Ben and Mother fondly called it chivalric ideals, Uncle Qui-Gon blatantly called it a classic case of demi sexuality over the phone and nearly gave dear Aunt Beru a heart attack. 

Since Naboo was so small, it didn't have a high school. Everyone took the bus to Chad, a slightly larger town with around 600 people and a Burger King in which he and Leia never ate anything except the dollar menu. That's where he met Callista. She had flowers in her hair, tiny pink larkspur blossoms that glistened in her maroon locks. He thought she was the most beautiful woman made since God created Elizabeth Taylor, no offense to his mom or aunts intended. Unlike the other girls, there was no past with her. No "wormie" comments, no lingering effects of bullying. Hell, she thought it was noble of him to care so deeply about father. Callista wanted to be an actress, hence her participation in most of the school plays. She introduced him to Woody Allen, Tina Fey and Steven Spielberg, he introduced her to Arthur Creed, Henrik Ibsen and Geoffrey Chaucer. He bought his first yearbook with the money she gave him. They held hands in biology even though it wasn't allowed. Senior year of high school went a lot quicker when he started dating her. It flies in double dates, picnics, walks in the moonlight and swims in the lake. The monotony of life reached a ceasefire and he sincerely hoped it would last forever. Vader hated Callista from the start and said "dump her **now**!!!" Luke told Biggs about his plans when he came on leave to propose after graduation and his oldest friend advised against it. Claimed that they should attend college first and it reminded him of Benvolio counseling Romeo to forget about Rosalind ( unbeknownst to him four years later Luke would make Biggs and the rest of his family swear not to kill his ex-fiancée). He met Biggs halfway and proposed the night before prom where Callista was envied by all as she proudly wore his engagement ring to it.

There is an unwritten rule of small towns: everyone must be invited to a wedding, even if you moved in yesterday. Fortunately, everybody agreed that it was smarter to postpone the upcoming nuptials until both of them got their degrees. Life was good, really good but things felt incomplete somehow. That night Luke dreamt of 911 came crashing down, a frenzy of grey smoke and macabre flames. The 21st century's version of Pearl Harbor. Kandji (now Bigg's wife) was visiting family in New York, she died when the towers fell. Kandji's father gave Biggs her locket. It had a picture of them together, Luke remembers taking that picture. His friend still carries it, he'll probably take it to the grave with him. Biggs joined the Army, Aunt Beru worried he was suicidal but mister Darklighter insists that his son is in perfect condition. 

In the dream he gets trapped inside his own flesh and burns in red blood turned fire. Luke wakes up in a cold sweat and tells himself that dreams pass in time.

The next day Galen came back from university with a Ivy League doctorate on one arm and his girlfriend Juno Eclipse on the other. Nurse Aphra ("Doctor to you mini-boss") came along with them cause Galen promised her a patient who would hate her services. Luke noticed immediately this was the kind of person who enjoyed achieving the improbable. No wonder Galen praised her in his letters. Then his brother announced that she'd be father's personal nurse paid at Vader's expense and he worried about his friend and brother's mental health. But Vader thought she was brave so maybe dad wouldn't scare her to death. To everyone's surprise Miss Aphra and father got along spectacularly.

He didn't realize how much it changed things until a few weeks later when he and Leia lost track of time, came home late and rushed to give dad his oxygen therapy only to find miss Aphra closing the levels. It dawned on him that moment that he could leave home, that dad would be fine. (After he wrote the instructions on father's peculiarities for miss Aphra of course). Otherwise it wouldn't be fair to anybody. Thomas Paine's words ran through his head, tied with Amadis de Gauda, Edmund Burke, John Salisbury and Virgil.* He has lived in a land of books and now is the time to uphold their teachings. To defend what he loves for a good shepherd must tend to his/her sheep but they must also fend off the wolves. He enlists.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hands out tin cup:  
> Comments please??


	2. Han

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who are offended by this chapter: It is not my intent to vilify the United States government, however as a Latin American I cannot in good conscience promote an idealized account of their morally dubious involvement in South America or border patrol policies. I consider myself a literate person: I have read every book and author I have referenced in this story thoroughly. I have hoped with this story to write not only a crossover tale to entertain but also give a valid critic and/or reflection to society just like Star Wars has done since the beginning. Storm troopers echo Nazi Germany. Palpatine's political standpoints in the prequels are undeniably inspired by the "war on terror". The Viet Cong were George Lucas's model for the Ewoks. The transition from the Democratic Galactic Republic to the Dictatorial Galactic Empire mirrors ancient Rome. So please no haters.

Juan Eserski Ontario doesn't know what day he was born. His mother said his birthday coincided with Elizabeth Bishop's death in a letter he keeps under his pillow but nobody around here knew who that lady was and his mother didn't stay alive long enough for him to remember anything about her. One of countless lost to the bombings. Why couldn't his mother give him a more local clue? The nuns celebrate his birthday on the day he came to live with them. All things considered, he has a good life. He's well-fed, receiving a decent education and he is loved. Father Chirrut is always kind, except when the soldiers try to take a nun. Then he shows people why Jesuits were nicknamed the Soldiers of Christ. He had come to Latin America escaping from Mao Zedong's _"Cultural Revolution"_ and ended up in a country fucked up by war anyway. The blind priest calls all the children gems of the Lord every night before tucking them into bed. His friend Baze Malbus who used to be a priest before the massacre of El Mozote pretends he's cold and unfeeling but he gives the best piggyback rides. Sometimes if he concentrates really hard, the little boy catches a glimpse of who Baze used to be. It never lasts longer than a few stolen moments the grizzled man refuses to acknowledge, despite Father Îmwe's frequent attempts to bring his dear friend back to God. These moments are usually caused by Javiera Isabel Erso (affectionately called Jyn by her father). Her father Gabriel Leandro (Galen as a pen name) Erso was a scientist and Liberation theologian of Italian descent, apparently his wife was a drill sergeant. His work left Jyn motherless and made him a fugitive so they lived in the church under sanctuary and hid whenever strangers passed by. In exchange he taught the children science, math, Russian and Italian. The man refuses to teach anyone english or as he calls it " el idioma de los gringos y su imperio de pudrición espiritual." Sister Anya told Juan to hide with them once he turned nine. He understood why the next day at school when the lieutenant took all students aged twelve and up. They said it was done with a heavy heart, that their parents should rejoice cause their children would be heroes. Miss Oola got shot for trying to kill a soldier after taking her son. That night he prayed to stay nine years old forever. When he reached ten years he prayed God would give him epilepsy like his friend Bodhi Rook who was declared "unfit for combat" because of constant seizures. Epilepsy didn't stop Bodhi from gathering information for the guerrillas. The man was either very brave or very stupid.

Jyn gets her period when she's twelve and Juan's eleven. Her father's face is terrified at the implications. She is a woman now and women in small towns are easily gangraped by death squadrons. If they can violate and kill Sister Jocasta with wrinkled skin and hair white as milk, they can take Jyn with her brown locks and growing breasts. Juan tells Doctor Erso not to worry: Jyn knows how to fight, Baze taught everyone he trusted how to use a gun efficiently and he trusts Jyn more than anyone except Father Îmwe. His reply to this is that she will die braver than most. A few days later Jyn's godfather (who she completely humiliated by calling mi queridísimo tío) Saul Gerrera took Jyn. The little girl begged to stay, or at least for her Papa to come with her. Her pleads fell on deaf ears as Saul carried her away. He's furious at Doctor Erso until the altar-boys are found dead in the river and he takes comfort in knowing that if Jyn dies it will be on her terms. Juan stops praying for the saints to intercede for them after that. If God won't aid a country named after his only son he doesn't care at all. Doctor Erso starts a friendship with Bodhi, Base grumpily tells Juan that doctor Erso's replacing Jyn but the youth has sought to erase memories long to recognize when someone strives to forget or substitute: this isn't an attempt at either of them. It's just two lonely people trying to make the best of a messed up situation. Doctor Erso is above all a father and fathers are prone to nurturing. A week before he turns twelve Jyn comes back into his life with Cassian Andor, a gringo military captain that defected to the FMLN. From the looks of it, Jyn is hopelessly enamored with the young man. Thankfully Andor sees her as a child, Bodhi jokes that once she turns 18 Doctor Erso will have a gringo son-in law. _If that happens I'll pity doctor Erso._ Jyn has spent the last year in Saul's guerrilla cell sending children illegally to the United States before the authorities grab them, now it's his turn to cross the border. Bodhi comes along with and the fact that he's the oldest of the forty-two people crammed into the caravan barring Saul proves how inaccurate Ronald Reagan's description of this conflict is.* Supposedly carrying folks was one of the least dangerous jobs in the resistance but the hardened gaze Jyn bears tells him she's killed people. Thankfully she opens up to him once they get in the truck, words can't express how relieved he is that she hasn't changed at her core. That she's still good in ways those high society bigots will never understand. Saul keeps an eye on her all through the trip, the man's composure softens as he curls a strand of Jyn's hair and it reminds him of Baze just enough to hurt. The border to Guatemala is passed uneventfully, they have no such luck with Mexico where robbers try to hijack them. For a moment he thinks they're gonna die until Cassian steps out of the van with all the calm in the world and hands them a fat wad of money. He steals a gun and vows to never allow himself that kind of vulnerability again. Once they reach California he grudgingly learns to speak english but refuses to read it: partially out of spite and partially because Doctor Erso's words run through his head.

They advise him to change his name. Cassian leaves the dead body of a John Doe with his identification card to fake his death. Juan Eserski Ontario perished in a desperate attempt to enter "América". Han Duarte flirts with a ditzy girl on Tijuana while his _cousin_ buys a drink. Out of habit he listens to the bartender and uncovers cops sniffing too close on the trail. Next thing Han knows he and Bodhi are running from Officer Vizla, dodging bullets like one of those PG action movies where the good guy always wins. As luck would have it both of them were stuck with the rebels. The unforeseen circumstances made Saul choose a different path through Mexicali. On a run-of-the-mill gas station they catch up with current events. They've barely finished the supply run when Gerrera keels over and dies from a massive heart attack. It was poetic in a certain way: the man had lived engulfed by war and his days ended when the peace talks began. Symbolism failed in cooling the raging sun while they buried Saul under the Arizona desert. Jyn takes on the mantle of guide as she leads the remaining group across the sea of yellow. Andor is holding on by a thread in the back of the vehicle. Han decides then and there that the gringos can't be that bad if one thoughtlessly shielded Jyn from gunfire. Next time someone realizes he can't read English Han just might learn it. Cassian's fever breaks hours after he receives a primitive blood transfusion, Han thanks him for saving his _little sister_   when he wakes up in witch's hour. The captain smiles, a real and beautiful smile and in spite of the cold Han feels all warm inside. It seems like Cassian woke up in time cause the tires break and the rest of the journey is done on foot. The surviving or uncaptured youths trek the Sonoran desert together until a border patrol helicopter comes down on them. The chopper’s blades raise desert dust, blurry and hurtful. Outlines of people firing shots pierce his ears, followed by thuds of lifeless bodies tinging the sands red. Han manages to single out Jyn by her height whilst Cassian yells at her to run. She replies that she won't leave him. Bodhi, whom he recognizes out of touch carries him away against his will. A bullet grazes past his right arm and leaves a scar. When his eyesight recovers he realizes Jyn and Cassian are nowhere to be found. He screams their names until his throat's raw. They find shelter in one of the mountain's caves, shortly after Bodhi falls to the ground. His friend's shirt is stained with blood and he's pretty sure it's fatal. The only comfort to be had in all this is that unlike his mother Bodhi won't die alone. Despite his protests Bodhi refuses to save his strength and chooses to speak.

"How good is your English Han?"

"Good enough to understand you right now, bad enough to hope you won't ask me to read sonnets."

"Do you know why I crossed the border?"

"Cause you wanted a taste of the American dream before dying? I don't blame you: I'd sell my soul to kiss Carrie Fisher. "

"My dear friend: I regret to inform your gallows humor is incorrigibly bad in both Spanish and English."

"Perhaps we should learn Rumanian? Surely the land of vampires will have good macabre humor."

"If I don't make it-

"No seas cabron!!! You're not dying: I won't let you, we've gotta stick together." 

"Promise me you'll stay good. That you won't lose hope and you'll protect the innocent as I strove to protect you. I crossed the border to ensure your survival my friend. Remember to hope..."

"Bodhi, Bodhi!!!!

When Bodhi dies Han thinks about Utopia, the last book Father Chirrut referenced in his sermon. In More's fictional island all citizens believed that to be virtuous follows the laws of nature and reason alike. Father Chirrut claimed that the rebels fought this war died to make such a world possible. If that's true they failed substantially. _Blood, agony,grit and sorrow: that's the world our fathers left us: que mierda de vida la que nos dejaron._ A world where people are considered _"collateral damage"_ because they were born in the wrong country, a world in which thirteen year old girls can shoot grown men without blinking, a world that topples governments for the sole reason that one nation has created a sociopolitical vision that that is contrary to another and preaches democracy while supporting dictators. When did humanity turn so cruel? What happened to the so-called heroes that cared for everything and everyone? Were they all lost to martyrdom or they die young and unfulfilled in their sleep? Does selflessness equal death in the 20th century or just suffering? He buries Bodhi outside the cave. Han gives Bodhi the rosary Father Chirrut gave him. Articles of faith are best left with those truly pious and Han doesn't think a good Catholic would keep asking himself "Where was God?" Everything within the thirteen year old boy goes numb after that, the sun can't burn anymore than the weight of his failure. He runs blindly until his feet bleed, wandering aimlessly through the sands until his body faints from exhaustion and hopes death will reunite him with his loved ones.

"Wake up kid. I didn't pick you up from the wastelands to arrange your funeral." _I'm alive? How is that possible?_

" I'm in a bed, where am I?..."

"Outskirts of Yuma. Dehydration nearly killed you runt."

"Who are you?"

"Name's Garris Shrike. What's yours lad?"

_Juan Eserski is dead so I can't give him that name. I chose Duarte to honor Santa Evita cause Jyn thought she was a hero but I'm not a good person. I'm just alone and I deserve to be alone forever._ "Solo, Han Solo."

Garris Shrike offers him food and shelter in exchange for work in his smuggling ring. He's tall enough to pass for 15 so nobody questions when he says that's his age. The man thinks he loves Han like Saul Gerrera loved Jyn but he's smart enough to know the difference. Gerrera had committed violence so other people could in peace. He wanted Jyn to be better than him, he touched her like she was a glass figurine and encouraged her to think for herself. Strike kills people out of impatience, beats his subordinates (Han included) like a punching bag and despises individual thinking. By sixteen (fourteen) Han Solo is the best smuggler of cocaine, marijuana & meth in the ring. Unwavering guilt forces him to scour the Sonoran desert during his runs in search of inmigrants. He saves lives and Strike allows it in the interest of repeated financial gains on future successive trips. He sheds away the boy he once was and tries to forget about Godliness, morals and brotherly love. When Han's eighteen ( sixteen) he and Greedo are chosen to deliver **humans** kidnapped from Russia to be auctioned at the highest bidder. He tries to quiet his conscience and subsequently hates himself for the 2.5 seconds in which he succeeded. Risking jail he sends an offer to the cops: details on the inner workings of the ring in exchange for guaranteed freedom of the captives and witness protection. He crosses his fingers and hopes one of those blue collars speak Spanish, Italian, Russian or Japanese cause nobody cared enough to notice he doesn't read or write English. These days he learns whatever language is convenient for the foreign drug business and they always react better to documents written in their native tongue than English. Once the box car and its _cargo_  is fully loaded he shoots Greedo (he never liked the sadistic worm anyway), changes license plates and waits at the rendezvous (if the cops don't arrive he blew his only safe house to the government for shit). If they don't come he'll just take the intended slaves to the Russian Embassy and request asylum. Fortunately a squad arrives with an extremely tall officer who introduces himself as Chewbacca Baranov in Russian. He tells his story (From Strike and forward. The rest is too personal) and receives a clean slate, a top notch GED with college credits and US citizenship in reward for the rescue of 872 people and inside information on several drug cartels (under the Han Solo not Juan Eserski so technically he's still an illegal). Chewbacca tells him he deserves the Order of Saint Catherine the Great Martyr and informs Han that he'll be staying at his apartment. For the first time since Bodhi's breath stilled he has a genuine friend. He stays with Chewie who refuses to hire him in the police cause he's "too young". No wonder everything's slower in the legal branch. Later he refuses to work in the police because he can't read the forms and Chewie's done enough for him already so he won't bamboozle him into lying to his fellow officers. Finding a decent job is nearly when you have no college degree, high school diploma or legal work experience. While his neighbors Finn and Lando Calrissian work on their bachelor's degree Han works as a janitor/mechanic in a bar. On his free time he acts as Lando's designated wingman. Through their combined efforts they achieve a minimum of sleeping with 9 women per week. Then one day his boss Jabba refuses to sit a Nicaraguan couple and puts a sign saying "No Bean-Eaters Allowed". He gets fired for ripping the damn thing after Chewie translates it. In September 2009 he fills out an army application form with Google translation. Chewie enlists, supposedly to "ensure you don't get blown to bits" but later when the recruiter gives him a sample ASVAB exam the power goes off in the building for a moment. When it comes back the test is in Spanish and he passes with an AFQT of 93. The same thing happens on the actual exam and Chewie admits to using "a party trick to level the odds" but swears on his mother's grave he only changed the language so whatever score he got on both occasions was self-earned. He gets shipped off to Iraq and gets placed under Colonel Snoke. In typical Han Solo fashion he lands himself in massive trouble a week later for knocking Colonel Snoke out cold & gets sentenced to a hearing.

"With all due respect General Dodonna he started it by repeatedly calling me a Spic !!!"

"You are guilty of striking your superior commanding officer. Such a blatant display cannot go unpunished. In times of war offenses like these often result in a dishonorable discharge. Fortunately for you Commander Skywalker saw the events and his description of what transpired matches yours. Unfortunately it also means Colonel Snoke is guilty of perjury. Skywalker wants you transferred to his regiment, he believes discharging you would be "a waste of talent". He's an upstanding officer, could be the next Nathaniel Greene. A known associate of yours Sergeant Baranov is a member of his squadron. Is there any chance you'd take his offer?"

_Don't you fret Chewie: I'm on my way._ "Sir I'll pack my bags this instant."

Han rereads all of Chewie's letters to find out more about this Commander Skywalker. Dodonna is infamous for his refusal to praise anyone but he compared this guy to George Washington's most trusted general. Chewie refers to everyone in his squadron by their squadron by their first names so it could be anyone of the people he mentions. Except Miss Alexandra Winger or Shara Bey, he would have noticed if a woman had walked by. He has a sixth sense for awareness of the opposite sex. Could be Wes "the playful hacker" or Wedge " the steady hand". When they drop him off with Rogue Squadron Han sees a blonde, blue eyed kid carefully underlining passages in a book that probably weighs a ton. Immersed in the tome as if it were an ocean. If his old (only living) friend's letters are accurate this is Luke or as Chewie nicknamed him "the little knight". Might as well get the introductions over with ASAP. Besides Chewbacca wouldn't call the squirt earnestly kind for nothing. The man's always been an excellent judge of character. If the Pentagon ever wants to eliminate corruption he'll send Chewie to live with them for a week. All those blood sucking paparazzi will have a field day.

"Hey kid, what are you reading?"

"Boethius's Consolation of Philosophy in the original Latin."

_Father Chirrut taught me Latin. I could read that book if Chewie's right about me having a photographic memory- Don't think about him. The old fool's probably dead by now._ "Too antiquated for my taste. I'm looking for Commander Skywalker: any idea where I can find him?"

"Pleased to meet you Lieutenant Solo. Commander Luke Skywalker, welcome to Rogue Squadron. If there's anything you need let me know."

"Very funny kid. Now please present me to the CO. I had a long ride and I really want to sleep. Didn't know they let sixteen year old boys in the Army."

"I'm nineteen going on twenty and you've been placed under my command Lieutenant. You show great promise in your file: I'm hoping you'll prove me right and Snoke wrong."

His first assumption of Skywalker is that he got his position through money. That theory's shot down when he notices the kid wears hand me down shoes, counts every penny and doesn't turn his nose up at the MRE. He eats ration desserts slowly, savoring the cheap slop in a way only poor people would. Dodonna hates political smooching which means the kid can't be an asskisser. His soldiers respect him, ** _love_ ** him, admire him even though he's the youngest man in their regiment. Rogue Squadron has good people, the kind of folks who'd rather die than accept bribes and joined the army for the right reasons (the kind of people who make his past even more shameful). They all swear Luke is an honorable man, worthy of admiration but everything he's lived tells him men like that only exist in Romanceros*. Nothing about the kid makes any sense. Skywalker is aware of his authority but he doesn't abuse it, he writes love letters to his girlfriend back home in cursive ( he knows they're love letters due to the Italian phrases the kid uses from time to time. Chewie says it's an invasion of privacy to read other people's mail so he doesn't read them out loud to him when Han pockets them under his uniform) but all his mannerisms show he's a certified virgin. Fucking idiot speaks like a philosopher, writes like a poet, works like a farmhand and prays like a monk. And if that wasn't enough **he carries a frickin _sword_. ** Is he trying to emulate Mad Jack Churchill or something? When Han first saw the military chaplain he thought someone Catholic had died. Nothing prepared him for the priest leading Commander Skywalker to confession as he took out a pair of platinum rosary beads. He tries to keep his distance after that, the kid unknowingly reminds him of all he's striven to forget since 1992. It works for two months until the kid summons him for no reason. To his knowledge none of his recent behavior warrants a private scolding so he's confused about the nature of the summons.

"Sit down please. First things first: you're not in trouble Lieutenant. Your behavior has been exemplary."

"Well then Sir what's this about?"

"It has come to my attention that you always fill out your medical forms with Sergeant Baranov. Last week he got sent on a supply run & you missed a checkup. If you feel uncomfortable with receiving medical treatment alone then I'll be happy to accompany you. Also I need you to fill out these forms for new parts on the trucks."

" I'll have to do it outside Sir, the light here's too dim. Hold on, what's got you looking so curious!!! "

" Must be quite a story: how a illiterate man deceives the world and manages to pass the ASVAB with flying colors."

"I don't know what you're talking about. An illiterate person couldn't get into the Army. You should take some Valium Sir. It'll clear your head up."

"Well if you ever change your mind and want to tell me the truth know that I was going to offer you reading lessons, not report you."

"Cut the _Gentleman Saint_ act kid. In my experience no stranger ever risked anything for free."

"Then allow me to be the first."

_Over a decade and not a soul noticed except Chewie but Captain Toddler finds out without close contact with me. Que se joda, I got nothing to lose. The sanctimonious prick's gonna report me anyhow._ "You know what kid. I'll take you up on that offer."

" Great, we'll start tomorrow."

He packs his bags and heads to Chewie's tent to say goodbye and thank you for existing. To his surprise the kid is there talking to Chewbacca. He apologizes for calling Han uneducated cause Chewie decided to turn traitor and tell him that he can read and write Russian. Is no one trustworthy these days? At least Chewie didn't give any details about his past. The kid proceeds to write the Cyrillic alphabet and the corresponding letters of the Latin alphabet followed by their pronunciation in English. He goes through the process calmly and corrects all mistakes with unfeigned gentleness. By the end of the week Han ponders over the possibility that Doctor Erso would have liked Commander Skywalker. He's pretty sure Bodhi and Luke would have been good friends. They shared the same beliefs, the difference lies in how they were manifested. Bodhi had operated discreetly in an ultimately futile attempt to stay alive, whereas Luke charges head-on during combat with no thought to his own mortality. It becomes a cycle: nights of cobalt blue ink followed by days of oblique bullet's flood. His Latin alphabet writing goes from chicken scratch to legible (Luke says his Russian is Άξια επαίνου Αθηνάς*, whatever that means). Once his reading skills are adequate enough, the kid starts to give him books: The Measure of a Man by Martin Luther King, Le petit prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, Dante's Vita Nuova and god knows how many history and/or poetry collections. Han cries when Luke's copy of North and South has Elizabeth Bishop's biography on the back because the nuns celebrated his birthday on December 27, they had helped him avoid conscription before the war started. Luke asks how to make him feel better, promises that he'll listen to his anguish even if it's spoken in a tongue he doesn't understand. As a result he tells Luke about Father Chirrut, Baze, Jyn and Galen Erso, Cassian, Bodhi, Gerrera and Strike in Spanish. Through it all Luke gazes at him: fervid yet serene resembling Bouguerau's angels. Part of him knows he shouldn't let the kid break his walls, especially after he realizes just how virtuous Luke is but he can't bring himself to cut the cord. It seems strange that after a lifetime of fear, scum and villainy he has found what may be the last true humanist: in the midst of a goddamned war. Han takes upon himself to keep Luke safe until he dies, averse to the idea of losing the purest person he knows.

He opens up to the rest of Rogue Squadron after that, if he's gonna protect Luke he needs to know these people better. They welcome him with open arms and he wonders if caring more about their survival than he ever did with his fellow smugglers is proof that he's changed for the better. Chewie says he was always good but the man's opinion is biased on this matter. Twelve month leave arrives and Luke invites him, Chewie and anyone else who wants to come for Christmas with his family. Most of them feel honored at the offer but go home to their own families. Han and Chewie are each other's families, ergo unable to find a good reason to refuse a free meal. They buy three plane tickets and drive the rest of the way in his trusty Falcon (The Volkswagen camper he rescued from the dump a couple of years ago. Luke thinks it's a piece of junk, Chewie think's it's proof of his engineering skills). Han finally discovers how Luke got his promotion from Biggs Darklighter, Luke's childhood friend and former leader of Red Squadron. In January 2009 their convoy was ambushed during a mercy mission. Remaining soldiers were captured and used as hostage in exchange for Iraqi prisoners. They swore to kill them in nine days if their demands weren't satisfied and publically beheaded Lieutenant- Colonel Garvin Dreis to prove it. Luke had been there as a translator for the executed Officer Sixtus Quin. They were held at a prison along with foreign journalists, aid workers and fellow soldiers. Since Biggs was a medical student he was forced to treat a sick guard in the upper levels, Luke was brought with him to speak Arabic. In what he now calls "an act of reckless desperation" Captain Darklighter used a syringe to inject the guard with air bubbles, killing him quickly. He and Luke managed to overthrow the remaining guards but not before Biggs was shot in the leg. Undeterred the two held their own against the enemy with the bare minimum: Biggs had two guns taken off a corpse, Luke had a falchion sword he took from a room (Yep, same sword that's strapped to his equipment now). They liberated a total of 300 people and both men were given the Legion of Merit. Unfortunately the bullet in Darklighter's leg completely perforated his tibia, causing a permanent limp which he hides very well. He was medically discharged and Luke was promoted to leader of the newly formed Rogue Squadron.

Darklighter is another exception to the slaughterhouse labeled as humanity: he holds no resentments towards the people that crippled him. If anything the man regrets the fact a country was driven to such wretchedness. The rest of the evening is pretty straightforward: he meet Luke's parents (Padmé gives the three men bearhugs), the female cousins that stare dreamily at him, the fiancée who wants Luke to leave the army ASAP, the supposedly dangerous older brother (he internally shudders at the name Galen) and the vampire in daylight Luke calls Vader whose demeanor changes from Hitchcock-level terrifying to  _happy_ once the kid hugs him. Luke's room is full of books, airplane designs and photos. Han notices that in these pictures almost everyone is family. Barring Rogue Squadron, Biggs and Count Vader are the only non-related males besides some teenagers and an old, british-looking dude. Said man shows up later to welcome Luke home and exclaims sundays in the library are just dreadful since he left. Everything else Mister Threepio mutters is lost as Han's gaze roams to a vision in white. Her dress is simple, notably conservative in nature and it makes her even more beautiful. There's a unmistakable pull to this mystery goddess with alabaster skin and brown topaz eyes that beckon the soul. She leaves in a car and doesn't come back, not knowing her name bothers him more than it should. Han and Chewie head back to their apartment the day after Christmas. Luke's aunts push them to take food home and even tossed in homemade gingerbread cookies. The kid surprises him even further by gifting Han a copy of Jules Verne's From the Earth to the Moon along with a 38 mm silver pendant of some armored lady riding in horseback* Luke claims will protect him. After that New Year's with Lando was cold by comparison. It didn't matter until he was about to lie with a pretty girl and her face morphed into the youthful deity with rich cascades of chocolate. He apologizes to the bimbo and walks home to clear his head. When he tells Luke an abridged version of what happened (no mention of the phantom beauty whatsoever) the kid laughs at his predicament while they catch up on the plane. 

"Mind letting me on the joke kid?"

"You're complaining that you didn't make love this week when in truth you've never made love at all."

"I'd slept with dozens of women before you finished high school and you're telling me I've never made love? You're crazy Commander."

"That was sex: a manifestation of lust, which the 21st century often confuses with love. Making love is as the name suggests a breeding in the sublime both of body and soul instigated by romantic love. "

" What's the difference between lust and romantic love anyhow kid? "

*“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain,  
But Lust's effect is tempest after sun.  
Love's gentle spring doth always fresh remain;  
Lust's winter comes ere summer half be done.  
Love surfeits not, Lust like a glutton dies;  
Love is all truth, Lust full of forged lies.”

_Well, I certainly walked right into that one._ " You have a book for everything, don't you Skywalker?"

"I'm working on it."

The rest of the war fades into moments, actions tied with the intervals between one continent and another: some joyous, some bloodcurdling (originating from both sides), fusillades, escorting refugees, jokes with Rogue Squadron, book-learning, trying to shield Luke the way he couldn't shield Jyn or Bodhi. When things grow dim he holds onto Luke a little tighter. What remains of the Salvadoran boy who believed in saints and miracles crawls out of hiding, drawn to the kid's purity like a moth to the flame. Did Padmé Amidala know just how fitting it was to give her son a name meaning 'light'? Probably not: in real life a terrorist can be named Rafael Trujillo or Alberto Masferrer and no one except some philosophical twats and college newspaper writers will look deeper into historical/etymological roots until heavy damage is done. Han sees Luke cry for the first time when a letter comes from his parents saying Fay Kenobi and her baby were killed in a car crash. The kid goes on leave for a few days to attend her funeral, they don't grant Han permission to do the same. On his second leave he pays his respects to Luke's cousin and would-be godchild. A priest is there on the tombstone (what kind of Catholic priest wears a wedding ring?) talking to the grave. Had he had known the importance of Father Kenobi, Han would have said something to the grieving man. Instead he just handed the old priest a flower from the garland of Chrysanthemums he'd brought and patted him on the shoulder. Comforting was never his specialty. Few events are noteworthy afterwards: by now they're all hardened to the lull before combat. Luke teaches him Farsi once they exhaust his backpack/library and teaches piano to children in a bombarded Church's organ. The kid jokingly informs him an idle mind is the devil's playground and encourages Han to take a hobby, he doesn't have the heart to tell him he's already hell bound. The third year of tour is tediously uneventful, except for when Lando meets Luke in January. That was immensely entertaining.

Han's original reason for joining is all but forgotten, long since transformed into something different. Avoiding unemployment seems so careless these days, fool's gold perceived for it's deception. Here in the subtropical desert he has found purpose by serving with the platoon of people he's grown to love – serving them far more than any country or job. It takes him by surprise how strongly he's bonded with these total strangers. For a while Han actually believes they can leave the War unscathed. Part of him looked forward to it: Luke had invited him to his wedding, Chewie's longtime crush Malla had finally agreed to go on a date with him and Rogue squadron had survived with minimum casualties. The future was uncertain yet seemingly hopeful, like the felices para siempre written at the end of children's fairy tales. One untarnished moment in which the soft breeze of dawn was amaranthine. And then the tools of war brought forth that moment's end. In hindsight there were signs that something would go wrong, little things that nagged in the corner of his brain: Luke couldn't find his sword and they left without it, something they'd never done before. Han's patrol cap was accidentally washed and Commander Skywalker (Señor, si existes bendícelo por favor) switches hats with him just in case. Unfavorable as these omens were, Han pushed them away as gringo superstitions cooked-up by Fobbit pansies. The black butterfly offered no such evasion.* He tries to kill it, snuff out it's vile premonitions before they take root but the fucking bug flies away. Colonel Draven refuses to call off the patrol and no one except Dameron (who is Puerto Rican) understands what the black butterfly insinuates. Fifty miles later an explosion destroys their Humvee. Shara examines Draven's body, dead by the shrapnel that pierced his jugular. Wedge, Dameron and Porkins have superficial burns on their hands. Chewie is complaining about the cut on his arm but otherwise he's fine. Janson tells him Luke hasn't been found yet. In a frenzy he tears through the wreck in search of the kid. When he finds Luke, he only identifies him by his dog tags. The kid's whole body is scorched beyond recognition and his left hand is burnt to the bone. Shara Bey's face darkens upon her examination. Wedge is chosen to break the hard truth to the rest of them.

"Along with full-thickness burns covering 65% of his body, Commander Skywalker has suffered a severe blunt cardiac injury. Significant enough to result in valve dysfunction which has lead to Congestive Heart Failure. High Command says they can't send aid for us. He needs to be hospitalized in the next 48 hours or else-"

"Wedge give me the kid."

"Shara just finished his tracheostomy. Move him too much and you'll kill him. I'm serious Han."

"Luke will die anyway without further medical aid. At least this way he'll have a fighting chance."

"Han: the nearest hospital's forty miles across enemy territory and we have no transportation. "

"Good, I can make it there in 9 hours, 10 with the kid on my back."

"Even if you don't get shot you'll die of heatstroke before reaching the first yard."

"Fine by me so long as Luke doesn't join me in Hell."

Han lifts the kid gently to avoid opening his stitches and carries Luke on his back. The kid groggily asks where Han is taking him, he tells him they're going towards help in a no nonsense tone. Luke steadily loses awareness the farther they go, he starts mumbling about some uncle named Ben and sings "Mater Misericordiae" from time to time. If the kid still believes God is good after this Han's gonna write to the Vatican petitioning for Commander Skywalker's canonization. His eyes view a beige colored truck just before Luke loses consciousness. In a flash he hot-wires the car and drives the last ten miles to the hospital going 80 miles an hour. Upon arrival Han pulls out his gun to a random nurse's head and demands they treat Luke immediately. The staff comply out of self-preservation and put the kid on a gurney. Han's body gives out shortly afterwards, the side effects of his trek finally catching up to him. When he wakes up the lady in white is there, sad and pale and beautiful. He wonders if he's entered Heaven until his body spikes in pain once he tries to stand. Then he realizes he's connected to an intravenous drip and tries to yank it off. Mystery goddess informs him it's just nutrients, her voice is a unwritten symphony. She notifies him that he's in the US and that Luke is in the burn center. Biggs shows up in a medical lab coat and thanks him for saving Luke's life. Darklighter asks Leia (at long last a name) to help Han into a wheelchair so he can see the kid with his own eyes. Leia still looks achingly sad while she leads him to Luke, better break the ice then.

"So miss Leia what's your connection to Luke?"

"He's my twin brother." _Dame en la nuca._ _I've been consumed with desire for Luke's sister. Great, just great._

"Luke didn't tell me he had a twin sister."

"That's my fault: I made him promise he wouldn't talk about me."

"How come? You embarrassed of him?"

"Father always talked to his soldiers about us, Thanksgiving was spent with family and his regiment. Some of them still come for the holidays. Captain Skywalker's twins had the 501st wrapped around their fingers and then he got blown up. I guess I was trying to make sure history didn't repeat itself. Stupid of me really."

"It's not stupid to care about the kid. He's got a way of creeping into your heart whether you let him in or not. He could redeem a chupacabras if he tried."

"Oh, so you've met Vader?"

"Yeah I met Luke's Bela Lugosi imitator. Scared me out of my wits for a second."

"Luke's right behind that door. His left hand was infected so they had to amputate it. Don't freak out when you see him, I'm begging you."

Han enters the room and Leia's warning suddenly makes sense from a civilian point of view. The kid is hooked to a gazillion machines, the transparent tubes are a dramatic contrast to his charred epidermis. Five people are by his bedside, the stages of grief incarnate. Anakin Skywalker clasps his son's bandaged hand in denial, refusing to admit the gruesome reality presented. Perhaps he blames himself for what happened, perhaps not. If Doctor Erso was anything to go by, only a father can understand a father. Vader clenches his fists in calm yet dangerous fury, more frightening than any slasher film Wes Craven fabricated. Padmé Amidala weeps in silent depression, sterling tears running down her queenly face. Biggs, who entered the room just now is bargaining. Internally beseeching whatever deity answers to switch places with his best friend. The priest he saw on the tombstone prays in forlorn acceptance, bearing the look of one with no tears left to shed. Funny how the things we sweep under the rug come back when we least expect it. Put together they make a striking portrait, one Gericault would plead to immortalize in canvas. Throughout it all Luke sleeps, oblivious to the world around him. Han's discharge papers arrive two days later along with region service specialist Kallus from NAMUS. Kallus addresses him by name and gives Han the phone number of some girl called Liana Hallik. The guy mentions he's been working with Luke to locate this lady for him and just like that Liana Hallik's importance goes from hollow to fundamental. He locates her on google and boards a plane to California, then he takes a taxi to her house. A little boy with hauntingly familiar eyes (Cassian's eyes) opens the door.

"Hey squirt, I'm looking for a Liana Hallik: does she live here?"

"Mommy doesn't like strangers, especially ones from the army."

**"Saul Leandro Abella!!** How many times do I have to tell you not to open the door- **_Juan?_**

Echoes of the past threaten sanity's hold at the present situation: Jyn Erso is standing right in front of him. Older, taller and certainly less guarded than she was when they were separated but it's still her. Doctor Erso's little girl is alive, healthy and real. If the ring on her finger speaks true, she's married and has a kid of her own. He didn't kill her that day in the wastelands. Jyn calls for her husband and Cassian Andor rushes out to see what all the yelling's about. Both Han and Captain Andor's eyes widen a bit, then Andor methodically inspects Han and traces the scars on his body to confirm his identity. After a seemingly endless quiet, the former army Captain turned Rebel talks.

"We thought you were dead."

"I've spent the last 20 years thinking I left you both to die."

"Stay for dinner, we have a lot to catch up on."

Han eats with them and finds out Baze & Father Chirrut are still alive, though the stubborn idiots have continually refused every offer to live in the US. He nearly has a heart attack when Doctor Erso walks into the dining room. The grey-haired man recognizes him instantly and hugs Han as if he were his son. Doctor Erso had succeeded in gaining US asylum and was reunited with his daughter in 1998. He now teaches engineering at Caltech and lives two blocks away. The evening gains a darker tone when Han tells Jyn and Cassian what happened to Bodhi. Surprisingly, they don't blame him for Bodhi's death. Jyn's father blames Border Patrol for the whole mess and assures him there was nothing more he could have done. In an attempt to lighten the mood Han tells them about Chewie, Finn and Lando Calrissian, Rogue Squadron (Doctor Erso is furious that he joined the Army, Cassian laughs at his father in law's expense). Lastly he talks about Luke and his fears that Commander Skywalker's going to die. Jyn reasons that by all accounts Luke should already be dead so he'll probably survive. He likes her way of thinking more than all that bullshit Doctor Plo Koon spouted about preparing himself to let go. It's not until he leaves the warmth of their household that Han becomes conscious of what this reunion means. Luke knows who he was and what he's done. The kid understood every word he blabbered that day and instead of getting him deported Luke trusted him, cared for him and crumbled two decade's worth of guilt down. It weighs heavily on him on the way back to the hospital. Callista arrives that day with geraniums and a get-well soon card. She vomits upon witnessing Luke's piteous condition and runs. Han doesn't know Callista Ming that well so he feels no remorse in allowing Vader to halt her escape and clasp his hands around the bitch's throat. The no-name priest arrives with no such attitudes.

"Let her go Jacen!!! Surrendering yourself to anger won't help much in this situation." _Oh well, he released her-Wait: Who's Jacen?_

"You think praying to God will fix everything Kenobi? Where was God when Luke's Humvee did a belly-flop?!? What'd the Holy Ghost do then?!?"

"He sent Captain Solo to save young Luke."

"Solo rescued him on his own. Jesus ignored Luke's peril because he's not real. A fantasy can't answer calls for help."

"In my experience Atheism rarely solves people's problems. Denying God brings only more suffering. It's highly destructive not to mention hypocritical: most non-believers spend hours down on bended knee once misfortune ensues."

"Hey Jesus Christ!!! Why don't you prove Old Ben here right? Send me a situation where I'll be rash enough to ask for your mercy. There's nothing you can do to me that'll make that happen so let's see what you come up with."

The philosophical debate between both men ends abruptly when Luke's heart monitor flatlines. Leia drops her styrofoam cup of coffee and runs to get medical personnel. Father Kenobi hastily kisses Luke's forehead before going to find Biggs and tells Han to "watch over the boys". He's about to reply the priest that he's just here for Luke until he spares a glance at Vader and sees the man desperately begging God's forgiveness, frantic sobs muting half of what he says. The bawling man protests as the nurses Leia brought usher him away to resuscitate Luke, with every electric shock he twitches as the currents hit. After 45.10 excruciating seconds Luke's heartbeat is restored. Leia hugs Han, Kenobi and Darklighter sigh in relief but all Vader does is ask if he's allowed to enter Luke's room now. Biggs grants him permission and he proceeds to hug the kid delicately, stroke his blonde curls and ramble "you deserved better" in a voice so jejune it could be mistaken for an infant's wail. It becomes painfully clear that underneath the façade Vader, Jacen or whatever he's named is a scared child who might lose his best friend. It hits a lot closer to home than what he'd prefer. When Leia is forced to leave the hospital by her parents the next day for some much needed rest he digs up the courage to ask Vader the questions that no one's bothered to explain.

"Is your real name Jacen or Vader?"

"My name is Jacen Matthias Lanter. My family was Dutch and we did things backwards. Dad called me Vader which is father in Dutch and I called him Zoon which means son. Kids thought it was a cool nickname so it stuck."

"Why does Leia hate your guts? I heard her claim you have no right to be here cause you're an irredeemable monster."

"Yeah...Leia hasn't forgiven my actions as a bully toward her or Luke for that manner."

"Wait a minute: you picked on Luke and Leia?"

"I tormented everyone but the Skywalker twins were easier to single out because they insisted on dressing in old-fashioned clothes. Especially Luke with his poet shirts. To this day I've never seen Leia's knees exposed."

"Why would you do that? Why would anyone ever bully Luke? We're talking about a guy who could get trapped in a closet with Pablo Escobar and somehow convince him to join a monastery."

"You wouldn't understand. "

" Really: that's your excuse? You should be ashamed of yourself. Vader stop with the frozen in terror look, it's not funny. Jacen? "

Vader stays petrified in his place for 30 minutes. When he regains awareness of his surroundings he asks how much time he lost, indicating that it's happened before. He recoils when Han touches his forehead. Come to think of it: Vader never engages in physical contact with anyone except Luke and Ben Kenobi. Han offers to drive him home, the man accepts and falls asleep seconds after he lies on the bedchamber. Once he's certain that he won't be waking up early Han searches the house for signs of abuse. Vader's empty stare had resembled a girl's who 'worked' at Strike's by warming his bed, eventually that poor child killed herself. Three hours later he finds a ratty, blood stained journal under the corner of the kitchen table. Jackpot, let's see what you're hiding. Less than six pages he's holding back the urge to vomit. Jacen's predator was his own father. His mom had died from a early degenerative bone disease when he was seven. Upon her death Sidious Lanter took to 'comforting' his son, despite his 'worthlessness'. The boy had reacted aggressively to the world afterwards, believing that if everyone else was covered in bruises, no one would notice his own. At sixteen a school nurse reported strange injuries on Vader's legs and requested an investigation. Sidious fled the country after beating the crap out of his only son and told him "I wouldn't have left you if you weren't so awful". Broken, unloved and completely alone Jacen made plans for suicide-

" **Where did you get that?!?"** _I'll have an interesting tomb writing: Captain Han Solo, cause of death snooping around._

"I found it while cleaning up the kitchen." _Bela Lugosi could learn death stares from you_

"How much did you read?" _No use lying to the man, I'm gonna die anyhow_

"Made it to your thoughts of suicide. Wise men would probably run away now and try to forget this whole thing but the truth is I've never been a wise man. I'd like to hear what happened afterwards, only if you're willing of course."

"I timed the church bells and planned to shoot myself when they rung at 3:00, right after school. Since our priest was deaf, I thought nobody would find me till preparations began for Mass at 7:00 since normal kids don't go to church after school ends but to my surprise one teenage boy with no sense of reality did."

"Luke."

"Luke. He caught me red-handed just before I blew my brains out. Then he begged not to pull the trigger. I argued it was for the best, that nobody would care and the foolish child claimed that since he found me I was his responsibility. I told him it changed nothing and pressed the gun to my temple, Luke's response was to grab my switchblade and redirect it to his chest."

"He did what?!? I've seen the kid pull some crazy stunts but that takes the cake on stupid. What was he thinking?"

"Luke said that since he was responsible for me he couldn't leave my side and since I was about to commit suicide that meant joining me in death. He promised that no matter what he wouldn't abandon me and I just burst into tears like a whimpering cub. We had a good cry together, I promised not to off myself and Luke promised he'd teach me how to be a good person. When I thanked him for it, he replied that I would have done the same for him. Bullying seemed a lot less logical after that: I didn't want to hurt someone Luke loved after he'd helped me and Luke loves everyone."

_Truer words have seldom been spoken._ The kid's life reads like a Romantic tragedy. A starry-eyed boy forced into the role of caretaker from an early age, finding comfort in worlds crafted by ink to free himself from "the shackles of hate, lust and mediocrity" as he'd called it. Luke insists he's outgrown that part of his life but in truth he never did. He just broadened the term to a larger scope, unaware of what he was doing. The kid defined a caretaker as someone who helped those who need it, be it in body or soul. Luke was caretaker to his father, when his father unintentionally demonstrated he was mentally sound enough he was caretaker to Vader proving how completely immersed in this belief he was, in the war he was responsible for Rogue Squadron and took his self-appointed cross even further by becoming the unofficial guardian to Han's soul. And through it all Luke had asked for nothing in return save the disposal to _learn._  To cast aside the heavy veil society had placed so that one day they wouldn't need him anymore. Kenobi's brother Qui-Gon had offhandedly mentioned that Luke had an IQ of 185, while most would rejoice at such brilliance the middle aged man had claimed it was a burden: geniuses feel clustered in small towns with limited intellectual activities, the boy was never going to stay home and be happy regardless of this woeful incident. In Naboo there are three ways to leave: get a sports scholarship ( Luke had to quit the fencing team at sophomore year when his father's health took a turn for the worst and started working full-time at harvest season from then on), internships (Luke was sick the day recruiters came, if you're not there in person agents just put your file in the garbage cause they don't think backwater hicks have much to offer) and finally enlisting in the army base six hours away. In his misplaced idealism Luke had told him once " I'm here to ensure we fight the right way, otherwise victory is undeserving". It was a knight's proclamation: earnest, honorable and pure. Unsuited for a war of economic interests, too good for this sinful world. His parents had created a man fit to keep their spirits, they had taken his predisposition for enduring love and fostered it with bygone eras, Catholicism and fantasies. They failed to account for the day when Luke applied these lessons on a large scale instead of succumbing to small-town mentality like most of his peers did. Han never asks Jacen for stories again: the possibilities are too gruesome to contemplate. He tells Leia what Vader told him, she begs her brother to wake up.

Captain Solo settles into a routine after that: get out of bed, eat breakfast, take turns with Leia reading to Luke at the hospital whilst lying to himself that he's not falling in love with Luke's sister, coax Leia into eating lunch when her cousins fail to do so, talk to Jyn and Cassian over the phone, lie to Rogue Squadron when they inquire about Luke's condition (The kid's a hairline away from the fourth stage of congestive heart failure and he's not responding to treatments, Chewie punched Mister Threepio for wanting to prepare a funeral) while they continue to fight overseas, sleep and repeat. Wedge visits Commander Skywalker the minute they grant him leave, Han's ruse falls apart in less than that. Antilles places the kid's sword on his bed hoping that it will bring better tidings. One by one members of his platoon bring a book for their commander, when Winter moves to pick one up the whole squadron protests, explaining that they're for Luke to read  **when Commander Skywalker wakes up.**  Shara catches Darklighter drawing blood out of his arm, after a little digging she finds out Biggs carried out a compatibility test. When Leia confronts him about it he stays quiet. Darklighter leaves Han a note requesting that he stays at the hospital until visiting hours are over and none of Luke's relatives are present. He agrees in order to get to the bottom of things, the man locks them up in a broom closet which means that whatever he's going to say is secretive at best and God knows what at worst.  

"Swear the following conversation won't leave this closet." _Come on Biggs it can't be that bad_

"You're going a little overboard Doctor Darklighter." 

"Swear it!!!!!!"

"Fine, I promise. Now would you please tell me what you were trying to do."

"I was trying to give Luke my heart, unfortunately I'm not compatible."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"He needs a heart transplant as quickly as possible. Luke inherited his paternal grandfather's blood type which means the only match around is Anakin whose organs are barely adequate to sustain the man, let alone his son."

"Test me. I'm O negative, rare but still a universal donor. The world needs Luke Skywalker much more than it needs Han Solo."

"He's AB negative. Rarest blood type on the damn planet. Estimated time window is 8 days, the chances of finding a potential donor organ in time are one in a million."

Han lets what remains of his wall crumble into dust as vestiges of the unforgiving truth ring through his ears. It was all for nothing: he saved the kid from the desert and sent him to die on a hospital bed in Montana. He heads to the Skywalker home instead of the dingy hotel room he's rented for almost two months and politely requests Luke's loved ones to tell their life stories, thinking the mundane tales of civilian life will numb the pain. They do so with ease, nostalgia comes easier when times are hard. With every word they strengthen his belief that Fitzgerald had the right of it: Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy. Ben Kenobi is a heroic figure: the man prayed, hoped and believed his whole life. He broke the standard of foster kids and decided to give something to the world rather than scorn it, became a pious man in circumstances that breed cynics. Over twenty years of fighting the good fight and his only reward is a dead wife and daughter, a lost grandchild and his only godson (Luke is Ben's son too in every way but biology, he has the old priest's spirit carved deep in his bones) lying in a coma. Anakin Skywalker is a heroic figure: he was the man every woman coveted but his mind never strayed from his wife, not even in childhood or military tours. The man every male envied was then reduced to the man everyone pities, he made the best of a FUBAR situation by dedicating his life to fatherhood and marriage. Han has a grim suspicion that if Luke dies Anakin will join his son shortly after. It seems odd that in the midst of overflowing tragedy the Skywalkers, Amidalas and Kenobis grow kinder. They spit on Machiavelli and hearken Rousseau without even realizing it or mayhaps they do so on purpose to cleanse their own souls. When Doctor Fisto notifies them about the kid's condition the aunts remind Han of the Muses lamenting Orpheus's death, for obvious reasons he keeps that comparison to himself. Leia stops him from beating his hands bloody on the walls even further, she tends to them with a touch so soft it barely registers.

"I don't know what you were trying to accomplish with this Captain. Self-loathing and physical pain won't fix this."

"You know princess, I never really got used to my promotion. Back at the base men would call me Captain and I kept waiting for them to say it was a joke. After a while I stopped thinking that but the title didn't agree with me."

"Do you call every girl cliche monikers or is this just a ploy to lure me into your bed and make love?"

"By Luke's definition I've never made love to anyone. I thought it was dumb of him but looking back I can't help but think he was right and the rest of the world is wrong."

"He does that to people, he changes them and by the time they become conscious of it returning to their previous state of mind is impossible. He's probably gonna spend the first 50 years of his afterlife scaring CEOs and pro-vaccine politicians to death."

"That doesn't sound like your brother. He's the guardian angel type, personally I wouldn't place last rites on him just yet."

"Do you really think they'll find a donor in time?"

"I think with Luke there are no impossibilities."

She smiles, a shy little curl that promises much but reveals nothing. Her eyes burst with unprecedented fervor and Han places the deepest kiss he's ever done upon her saccharine lips. Leia tastes like rose petals and honey, exquisite yet not unreachable. She kisses him back and every girl he's been with falls short to her inexperienced, amorous pace that somehow maintains an air of deferential regalia. He  _ **needs**  _her contentment in a way he's never needed anything. It's not sexual (she gave him a white dried rose* for relationship terms, thanks to Luke he knew what it meant and oddly enough he accepted her terms) which confuses him to no end. Is this romantic love then? This constant flame that burns and tears you at the seams but validates each agony with one glimpse, one spontaneous moment shared between two people? If so he wants to spend what's left of his earthly career enthralled by it. The world's blossomed unexpectedly and he wants the spring of peace Leia provides to last a lifetime. With Luke's imminent demise it's unlikely so he emblazons Leia's kiss close to his heart and dreads the day he loses both of the Skywalker twins. Four days later Shara cautiously informs that a compatible organ was found as they place the kid onto a heart-lung machine. The surgery is successful and Doctor Plo Koon says Luke should wake up soon. Winter rejoices, Beru thanks God and Wedge starts calling the Rogues to see if any of them donated. Fortunately they're all living. All of a sudden Han's mind goes back to the last time he saw Vader: how the man had talked in hushed tones with Padmé and kissed Luke's forehead as if saying goodbye. Han calls Jacen for 6 hours, he never picks up the phone. His grim suspicions are confirmed when one of Luke's most frequent visitors: a country lawyer named Janek Sunber ( Biggs calls him Tank) shows up with Vader's last will and testament. Apparently Jacen donated his heart, lungs and everything else to the Skywalker family (to honor his sacrifice Han and Leia name their firstborn Jacen). Luke wakes up 74 hours after the surgery, to his credit the kid doesn't scream when seeing his reflection. He just reassures everyone that things will be all right and puts on a happy face. Then Callista Ming shows up again and it all goes to Hell as the kid's muted sobs manage to haunt Han and Leia's dreams simultaneously.

The kid's eyes dim after that. One can still see hope tinged with otherworldly sapience in the gentian irises but the stars have fled. The naïve belief that all love was unbreakable is gone, never to return. Han knows Luke will always be pure, he's one of those incorruptible folks like Monsignor Romero yet life has taught Han Solo that one can be pure without being innocent. People mock them or avoid eye contact outside the hospital, he only refrains from breaking noses cause the kid stares with a gaze so melancholy a rock would burst into tears. This, Han thinks is what Saint John must have felt at the Crucifixion. Luke will forever mirror Christ in a realm where Merteuil's form is coveted whilst Narcissus is patron saint. The man who speaks twelve languages will be hard-pressed to find someone to talk with outside of Naboo. A countless number of bible-burning feminists and irresponsible teenagers will abort their babies while the man who wanted kids since he was 10 will sire no child and lay with no woman. Han permanently cancels his rent in Arizona, he tells Lando the reason for it is his plan to marry Leia. Finn wishes Han good luck, Lando whines that he's lost the ultimate wingman. The Skywalkers let him stay at their house, stating it's the least they can do after saving their boy. There he watches as Luke banishes his once-favorite poet shirts, his jeans and everything even slightly revealing to plastic bags in the bottom of his closet. Turns the pages of far too many books with disfigured character the kid reads in search of a moment where by some miracle the "ugly" person is chosen. It bodes ill for society that on the rare occasions the romantic interest picks the freak it ends in tragedy (After sixty-something books, movies and plays Luke gives up and comes to the conclusion that misfortune is inevitable for the grotesque. He'll later state that Mara Jade proves that conclusion wrong). In an effort to lighten the mood he tells the kid about his feelings for Leia, expecting the whole "That's my sister!!!" tantrum but the kid just smiles and asks (pleads) for two things: that he tell Leia the truth about his past and that if she still wants him (Han says if, Luke says when) that they try to have children someday, when both of them are ready. The unsaid _Since I'll never marry and have a biological child of my own_ hangs heavy in the air, smothering both of them. Wedge gives the kid back his rosary on a Sunday, once his hand's recovered enough to hold the beads properly. Later that day at church Han overhears Luke praying, asking God to forgive him for his despair is nothing compared to his son's agony. The kid's mutilated features seem almost heavenly as Luke proclaims he loves God, God's honor, God's glory, Christ's cross. **_How did it come to this kid? You were supposed to be the next Nathaniel Greene, not the new Saint Drogo.*_** The former smuggler kneels and beseeches a God he doesn't fully believe in to grant happiness to the youth who unknowingly put most of their generation to shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *“I believe it is being naïve to express concern for human rights while pursuing policies that lead to the overthrow of less-than perfect democracies by Marxist dictatorships which systematically crush human rights....What we see in El Salvador is an attempt to destabilize the entire region and eventually move chaos and anarchy to the American boarder." - Ronald Reagan, after approving El Salvador's human right's standards in 1982.  
> * Romancero: a collection of epic-lyric poetry, made from legend and epic tales in Medieval Spain.  
> *Άξια επαίνου Αθηνάς: Worthy of Athena's praise in Greek.  
> *Saint Joan of Arc: patron saint of people who serve in the military and captives.  
> *Venus and Adonis by William Shakespeare  
> * In Latin America the black butterfly is a symbol of ill-boding. Their appearance foretells the death of something and those who see them during difficult times are said to be near death in some matter.  
> *White dried Rose: death is preferable to loss of virtue. In Edwardian times giving a White-Dried Rose to a suitor blatantly stated "No sex until marriage"  
> *Saint Drogo of Sebourg was a medieval Flemish noble who abandoned his wealthy lifestyle to become a pilgrim and benevolent shepherd. During one of his pilgrimages he was infected by bubonic plague. He survived but became so deformed that townspeople were scared of his appearance, and they even built a cell (attached to a church, since he was so religious) for him to stay in, to "protect the local citizens of the village from his appearance." Despite this he remained kind to all and offered his suffering for the cure of all who came to him for healing, performing many a miracle. He is now the patron saint of ugly people.  
> Hands out tin cup: Comments please???

**Author's Note:**

> *Loving friendship is able to endure everything: it refuses no burden.  
> * Thomas Paine: author of "Common Sense", a pamphlet written in 1776 that used moral and political arguments to encourage common people in the Colonies to fight for egalitarian government. Virgil: author of the Aeneid. John Salisbury: author of Policraticus, the book that defined the duties of Monarchs, Knights and Noblemen alike in medieval Europe. Edmund Burke: author of "Reflections on the Revolution in France", he also coined the phrase "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.


End file.
